When I signed up for a two year contract the spring after my graduation, I wasn’t looking forward to living away from home and family and friends. But the contract was broken down into managable segments and I was assured that I could always return home if things went seriously south. Amazingly enough, the two years did pass and I had been new places and had new experiences and learned about my chosen field while slowly advancing within the company. After my summer home, I realized that local restaurants weren’t going to be able to offer me the scope and benefits that the Colorado/Wyoming/Utah company could. And there was a relationship I wanted to explore and enthusiastic recruiters offering me raises and more responsibilites and higher ranking postions. So I came back to Avon last winter. After communication letdowns, management changes, and a typically high level of homesickness, I’m still not certain if signing on for the summer was a case of path of least resistance, or some type of reasoned adult decision making paradigm. I currenty have more things in Colorado than I could take home with a single car trip in my current vehicle – though if I sized my car up slightly I could probably still make it work. The knowledge of being on the edge of moving to Colorado has me paranoid about buying anything more while here, which is not all bad. Paranoia has, I am sure, saved many a person from buyer’s regret. On the other hand, while going from season to season without committing to being here might keep me from panicking over having grown up and moved out, it does seem to hinder developing habits and exploring activities that could make moving here less of a fullblown panic situation. While I don’t wish to perform personality graft surgery on myself, forcing the occasional social interation has been shown to benefit me in the past. So while my ideal scenario is wearing down a sibling until they surrender and move out to join me in this piney mountain town, my main focus for now is going to have to be adult interaction outside the workplace. I surely hope I can find a way to accompish this goal in non-stressful manner, but right now, things aren’t seeming effortless.
May 11, 2016